I’m annoyed. My racquetball game got canceled today and the hubs and I were supposed to go in and figure out a weight lifting routine tonight but he’s sick. Now I’m debating if I should just go and work out my frustration or stay home and stew in it while I watch him lie on the couch ignoring the chaos around him which only stokes my annoyance because I can not do that even when I’m sick. How does that work?

I’m not annoyed that he had the audacity to get got sick, I’m annoyed that it’s the second time this week my plan or pattern has been thrown off and I feel like spiraling. In general my life is chaotic, I have 3 other people to contend with in this house and they all have this notion that their way is the right way. I’ve given up on any hope that my way will make it into the mix so I shuffle through.

This working out…well this is where I get some control*. Maybe not how my body responds but in the fact I go. At 5:30 every morning (except Sunday and sometimes later on Saturday) I show up.  Still stuck in my head but I go.

Defeat. I feel it often.

Hang on I’m calling my mother in law….enjoy the imaginary music….

And I’m going to work out.  I need to work this frustration out instead of keeping it in my belly and then shoving stuff food on top of it because then this stupid game play in my head will have gained another point. Suck it!

*I get some micromanaging in when I smoke a brisket, it’s glorious!  The micromanaging more than the brisket. To me anyway.

I have a post about the rest of my week that I’m working on. Hopefully I’ll get it done later.

And I know he didn’t get sick on purpose and I do feel bad he’s sick, it’s tongue-in-cheek.


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