Changing Perspective…A Self Indulgent Post

Lately I’ve been stuck on where I’m not, what I can’t do, where I’ve stalled and where I’ve slacked off.  I’ve gotten caught up in counting the seconds lost instead of focusing on the fact that I’m moving at all.  And I hurt myself squatting down to wipe something off of the oven door on Friday. I mean seriously, what a lame way to get hurt. I think I strained a quad and it’s probably because I am horrible about stretching.

I need to remember to switch gears sometimes or I’ll never make it up the hill.

Today I wrapped a towel around myself after getting out of the shower and I didn’t have to pinch the sides together in  an attempt to reduce childhood trauma on my 11-year-old on the off-chance he should somehow catch a glimpse of my thigh…”OMG MOM! I saw your leg!” accompanied by disgusted face and heaving noises. The sides overlapped. Like, on their own.  Last week I was able to paint my toenails without making grunting noises similar to a warthog rooting for food  I can tie my shoes without trying maneuver my thigh around my stomach or expelling all of the air in my lungs as I thrust hands closer to my laces and hold my breath until the job is done. No more off to the side bows for me. I’ve gone down 2 pants sizes and am at the end of a third. I can pull these off without buttoning or zipping but I’m not quite ready for the step down. I’m trying to give up muffin tops or I’d totally go there. I’ve moved down 2 belt holes and added one in order to cinch it tighter and am about 1/8″ away from needing to add another.  I’ve lost 30 pounds. I’ve made new friends. I’ve completed a triathlon. Period. I’ve completed a 10K. I will be running a 1/2 marathon in 3 weeks, participating in a 180 miles relay in 3 months and, something that shocks even me, I will be running a marathon in 4 months.

There is a malfunction in my brain that turns my head from all of those things and focuses my sight how far I still have to go.

*I wrote this 2 days ago, I was mulling over whether or not I wanted to post such a bragadocious post. In the end I decided that it wasn’t coming from a place of ego, not intentionally anyway.  Although I am pretty shallow so maybe…  A bag couple of Double Stuff Oreos comforted me while I over analyzed my true intentions. It’s so awesome being stuck in this brain. It’s all roller coasters and Ferris wheels.  Yesterday I turned down a bike ride thinking softball would be easier on my quad. I was wrong, I strained them both. I have a PT appointment today to see if she can tape them and get her opinion on how bad they are. I almost swore at church softball. Loudly. And not a minor league curse word either it was all Big Leagues and Cracker Jacks in my head!! And then I felt my shirt ride up as I did some weird combination of hobblerunning  and Egor strut to 1st base and slit of belly became exposed and I was mortified AND in pain.  It hurt and I was embarrassed. I wish I would have gone riding instead. I do have a great softball team though. Very laid back and supportive.

I lost my turtle picture in layout transfer and since someone wasn’t backing up my hard drive like they said they were, I lost about 2000 other pictures along with it. Stupid digital age! I has the sad.

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3 Comments

Filed under Random Bits

3 responses to “Changing Perspective…A Self Indulgent Post

  1. Amanda

    You are doing such an amazing job! 30lbs, 3 pants sizes and 3 belt notches are HUGE accomplishments. I’m glad to see this post and to see you recognize how far you’ve come.

    Keep on rocking it, J! You are awesome.

  2. I’m sorry for your digital losses!

    But on the bright side – MAN have you come far! You’ve accomplished so much. Take a moment and be proud of yourself. You deserve it! 🙂

  3. Accomplishments are okay to look at as a whole because they are behind you, but goals are too overwhelming to group all together. Take them one at a time (or 1 workout at a time when you need to). You are really doing some amazing stuff here. Quit thinking and keep doing… You’ve done a whole slew of stuff you never thought you could.

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