If I Had A Twitter Account

It would probably be in close running for the title of Mayor of Crazy Town with what I imagine Charlie Sheen’s Twitter posts must have looked like a while back. I hope someone’s finally trying to help that guy instead of making buck off of his break down. No money to be made here folks, just crazy.

I will not be checking the weather for tomorrow again. I AM SO TOTALLY LYING!!! I will check it elevenity thousand more times even though what it says will not make a damn bit of difference regarding my showing up and giving it what my 2 weeks with no activity double quad strained body will let me give. I no longer have a goal time that’s a lie, I just want to finish but I’m going to be givin’ ‘er all she’s got in the hopes I can get close to my goal time.

I’m heading to PT at 8 this morning to get a report on whether or not all of my stretching and thigh rolling and beating has paid off and will give me a shot at finishing tomorrow without having to walk the run leg. I’m a dreamer.  Then it’s off to get some spray for easier suit removal and then my race packet. Then for those of you who know me and would like a comical vision of my awkward clumsiness to play over in your mind, I will stand in my bedroom and practice my swim to bike transition change minus the water and the bike. Just the undressing and redressing part, over and over tonight until I think I have it right. I’m not going think that at any point in time.  To ease the pain in your brain over the vision of me undressing, it’s not a true undressing. I have a one piece tri-suit that I look right feckin’ sex in…hang on…can’t type…laughing too hard…it has a black bottom and a cobalt blue top with some pattern strip running down the sides. It was on sale. What the heck is the deal with ‘real’ workout cloths and the sans panty requirement? I felt like a total perv the first few times I slipped them on commando style. I’m sure my mom had something to do with that. I don’t really think about it much now and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

Off to spin in circles today. For the most part I plan to stay off the radar because I can’t stop talking or thinking about tomorrow and a few other things that are spinning in my brain. It’s all a big blur of rainbows and unicorn farts in there.

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